November 2011
6 posts
4 tags
An Actual Conversation with a New Hampshire...
Submitted by Holly Pearson
Furniture Store Man: (loading furniture into car, nods at Holly’s Red Sox hat) So, are you a real fan or just a fan by default?
Holly: Default.
Furniture Store Man: Wow, no bullshit. You know, you’re my favorite kind of person. Are you married?
Holly: Yes.
Furniture Store Man: Oh. Well…second favorite kind of person.
3 tags
An Actual Conversation in a Bar About Manginas
Ethan: …I walk into the room, and Dan is standing there with a “mangina”!
Alix: What’s a “mangina?” I want to see a mangina.
Dan: Oh don’t worry, you’ll probably see one tonight at some point…
Bartender: (pops up from behind bar) The place is empty, you can show her now. (waits, staring)
3 tags
An Actual Conversation with My Mom About A...
Mom: Did you hear Big D died?
Ethan: It’s Heavy D. And yes, that was days ago.
Mom: How sad. They said there was no funny business or anything…
Ethan: What would be “funny business”?
Mom: You know, drugs…or shootings. Rappers are mad hardcore.
3 tags
An Actual Conversation About Airplane Food with...
Flight Attendant: Excuse me — for lunch today we have a turkey sandwich or a salad.
Ethan: I’ll have the salad, please.
Flight Attendant: Alright, here you go. (puts tray in front of Ethan)
Ethan: Thanks so much. (pours bowl of dressing on salad)
Guy Next To Ethan: Um. You know that’s not salad dressing, right? That was your soup.
Ethan: (stares at empty bowl. ...
3 tags
An Actual Conversation with a Waiter at a Buffet...
Submitted by Amit
Amit: Excuse me. (points to buffet tray) Is this beef or pork?
Waiter: (looks down) I think it’s beef. …Actually, it looks more like pork.
Amit: Yeah, it looks a little more like white meat.
Waiter: I’ll tell you what it’s not: TITS. That’s the best white meat. (winks)
3 tags
Another Actual Conversation with My Girlfriend...
Ethan: Hey, something smells weird…
Girlfriend: What is it?
Ethan: I think your breath might be bad.
Girlfriend: Are you sure its my breath? Maybe it’s my fungus cream.
Ethan: Your…what?
Girlfriend: The cream I put on my fungus rash.
Ethan: …I think I’m tired.
