April 2011
5 posts
3 tags
Another Actual Conversation with Dara's Family at...
Submitted by Dara
Waiter: So those are our specials. Any questions?
Grandma: I have a question. Do you know a man named James Story?
Waiter: No.
Grandma: He looks so much like James… (her handyman from 1960)
(Waiter brings over main courses, a plate of crab for Grandma)
Grandma: I thought I ordered the lesser version of c*nt.
Dara: (nearly chokes) What?
Grandma: Hm? What did...
3 tags
Another Actual Conversation with My Family at a...
Ethan: Man, there is no one in this restaurant.
Dad: Wow, it really is empty in here.
Ethan: This can’t be a good sign…
Mom: (panicking) Oh no, should we go somewhere else? Let’s go somewhere else.
Dad: It’ll be fine, just stick with the safe stuff.
Ethan: The “safe” stuff?
Dad: I’m having pasta. Pasta should be fine.
Mom: Don’t...
4 tags
An Actual Conversation About Hair-Dying with A...
Submitted by Anonymous
Friend: I’m thinking about dying my hair black.
Anonymous: You shouldn’t…it can turn your skull black, too.
Friend: Not my skull, you mean my scalp. You used the wrong verb, dummy!
Anonymous: And you just used the wrong noun, idiot.
3 tags
An Actual Conversation with a Large Black Woman At...
Submitted by Michelle
Large Black Woman: (bumps table as she walks by) I’m sorry.
Michelle: Oh, that’s okay. You’re fine.
Large Black Woman: That’s right, I am fine! (stroking her hair) I look gooood…
(Woman starts to walk away, then notices Michelle’s Fiance, staring at him intently)
Large Black Woman: (to Fiance) Don’t you know that once...
3 tags
Another Actual Conversation With Danny's...
Submitted by Danny Macaroons
Wife: (rolls over to Danny, still sleeping) …I’ve got crackers.
Danny: Huh?
Wife: Crackers.
Danny: Mm hm…
Wife: Crackers. And they’re like this (stretches arm out and makes a rigid, down-pointing claw with her hand)…
Danny: Alright…
Wife: …I got them for you. These are your crackers. (hand motion again)
