Post Office Lady: How many passports did you say you’ve been issued?
Post Office Lady: (pause) And how many are you in possession of today?
Lilia: Zero. …But I have copies of all of them.
Post Office Lady: Do you have a valid driver’s license?
Lilia: No. But I have my expired license… Or at least, a copy of it. And the temporary slip from the DMV for a new one…
Post Office Lady: Social security card?
Lilia: Will a copy work?
Post Office Lady: (stares at Lilia)
Lilia: I also have three registered copies of my birth certificate, my last four paystubs, copies of every credit card and drivers license ever issued in my name, one college and one high school yearbook, my hospital-embossed baby footprint page…and I can get my mother in here.
Post Office Lady: (loud sigh) Well, sweetie, at least you’re in touch with your “challenge areas.”