Submitted by Hunter
Mom: Drive safely, okay?
Whitney: We’ll take some shots before we head out.
Hunter: (mimes driving with her eyes closed)
Mom: Okay, okay. And you can all go mushrooming.
Whitney: She means ‘shrooming. Like, psychedelics.
Mom: No, I didn’t.
Whitney: Then what are you talking about?
Mom: I mean those morons that go out into the woods and pick mushrooms without having any idea which ones are poisonous.