TSA Officer: I told that mothaf*cka — I told him he can’t do that….
TSA Officer 2: Mmm hmm.
TSA Officer: I told him he chickensh*t!
Ethan: (waiting to present boarding pass) Yeah, f*ck that guy.
TSA Officer: (stares at Ethan)
Ethan: I’m sorry, uh…(clears throat)…is there pre-check at this airport?
TSA Officer: No. (long pause…leans in) But I like your spirit.
TSA Officer: Step through, please.
Ethan: (walks through metal detector)
TSA Officer: Hold it. Please go through once more.
Ethan: (turns around, walks through again)
TSA Officer: Again, please.
Ethan: Is something wrong?
TSA Officer: Just once more, please.
Ethan: But the machine never beeped…
TSA Officer: Please step through again.
Ethan: (walks through a third time, the machine makes a loud, weird noise)
TSA Officer: You’ve been selected for a “random” screening.
Female TSA Officer: (looking at Dave’s bag through the x-ray scanner) Aight…why’s it look like you got a cowboy dinner bell in there?
Dave: I’m sorry?
Female TSA Officer: Why you got a cowboy dinner bell?
Ethan: Um, are you…are you talking about the triangle? We’re comedians, it’s an instrument we…
Female TSA Officer: DeShawn, we got a cowboy dinner bell in here!
Ethan: No, it’s a triangle. Is…that okay?
Female TSA Officer: A triangle? Well, it does the same thing as a cowboy dinner bell, right? DING A LING A LING!!!!