Submitted by Scott

Mom:  I wasn’t able to load contacts into my email, and the computer started running really slow, so I called Outlook and they helped me out.

Scott:  You called “Outlook?”

Mom:  Yep, Microsoft Outlook.  They walked me through the problem.  Turns out that people are getting onto my…not my Scottrade account…but onto my internet.

Scott:  Your “internet?”  Do you mean your network?

Mom:  I’ve seen them outside, parked.  We’re getting all of their viruses.

Scott:  Wait, but — you don’t even use Outlook.

Mom:  I used to use Firefox…

Scott:  Fire…. Mom, that’s totally different. Firefox is a web browser. Outlook is email software. And you may have called Microsoft, which is a company.  All unrelated.

Mom:  Did I do something wrong?

Scott:  No, you didn’t do anything wrong.  You’re just not using the right words and as a result, this is making no sense.

Mom:  (long pause)  Is it because of the people getting onto my internet?