These are the ridiculous conversations we all
share on a daily basis. Submit yours today.
Created by Ethan Fixell
Showing 7 posts tagged grandma
Submitted by Billy
Billy: I’ll give you some privacy while you change your shirt.
Grandma: Why?
Billy: What? ”Why?” Because I don’t want to see that!
Grandma: Oh. Yeah, I don’t like ‘em either.
Submitted by Dara
Grandma: (pointing to Dad, brother and two uncles) There are a lot of men at this table, Dara. I’d like to see us even the score somehow.
Dara: Well, I can become a lesbian if you’d like.
Grandma: Haha, I don’t think I’d like that.
Dara: You could become a lesbian…
Grandma: I don’t think I’d like that either.
Dara: Don’t knock it ‘til you try it.
Grandma: How do you know I haven’t?
Dara: …
Grandma: …
Submitted by Dara
Waiter: So those are our specials. Any questions?
Grandma: I have a question. Do you know a man named James Story?
Waiter: No.
Grandma: He looks so much like James… (her handyman from 1960)
(Waiter brings over main courses, a plate of crab for Grandma)
Grandma: I thought I ordered the lesser version of c*nt.
Dara: (nearly chokes) What?
Grandma: Hm? What did I say?
(long pause as everyone stares at Dad for help)
Dad: (clears throat) Um…. You said you ordered the smaller portion of the, uh… crab “c*nt.”
Grandma: Crab c*ck?
David: Yes. Sure. That’s what you said.
Grandma: (long pause as she stares at Waiter across the room) That waiter looks so much like James. I’m going to ask if he knows him.
Submitted by Dara
Mom: Ooh, here’s an idea: let’s take a pole dancing class for Mother’s Day!
Dara: Um…really?
Mom: Yeah, that’s what I wanna do.
Dara: For Mother’s Day, we’re going to take a pole-dancing class?
Grandma: Who is?
Dara: You, me, and Mom.
Grandma: Pole dancing?!
Dara: Yes.
Grandma: Okay, yes, I know what that is.
Uncle Jon: How do you know what that is?
Grandma: Because I’ve seen it on TV.
Dara: You watch porno?
Grandma: (looks away, eyebrows raised) Whatever it is I watch, I watch…
