Submitted by Jake

Man:  I’m sorry, a can of Axe exploded in my bag while I was working out.  When I changed back into my clothes, they smelled like this.

Jake:  Uh huh…

Man:  It’s true!  …I must smell awful.

Jake:  Like Axe. It’s OK.

Man:  I could change back into my workout clothes, but they’re all ripped and smell like sweat.

Jake:  (focusing on phone)  Okay.

Man:  Here?

Jake:  What?

Man:  You want me to change here?

Jake:  What?  No.

Man:  I know, I’ll put my gym clothes on over these clothes. (opens bag and puts on sweatpants and a “Pussy Magnet” workout shirt) .…Well, now I smell like sweat AND Axe. 

Jake:  (silence)

Man:  This was a terrible idea.  I’m taking this off, okay?

Jake:  (silence)

Man:  (takes off the sweat pants and workout shirt…long pause) Just deal with it, okay buddy??  I’m getting off at the next stop.  Jesus…some people.