Submitted by Hunter

Mom:  Drive safely, okay?

Whitney:  We’ll take some shots before we head out.

Hunter:  (mimes driving with her eyes closed)

Mom:  Okay, okay.  And you can all go mushrooming.

Hunter:  What?

Whitney:  She means ‘shrooming.  Like, psychedelics.

Mom:  No, I didn’t.

Whitney:  Then what are you talking about?

Mom:  I mean those morons that go out into the woods and pick mushrooms without having any idea which ones are poisonous.